[network] @Iwillnot; What's a cat to do [open] Day 156

[absentconstellation]

[ Audio ]

[ The Cat has regained his tablet, packed his bag with as much food as it would fit and holed himself up in the house accessible only by a dog house. It seemed appropriate. Now he's assessing what to do next, and as much as it pains him to admit, he needs some advice on that. ]

Where might a particularly small individual do the most good?

Comments

[rubikscomplex]

we find judgmental assholes with tails rude
the universe demands equilibrium

[absentconstellation]

[ Yup, Cat likes this human. ]

It certainly took them long enough.

[rubikscomplex]

[That's a dangerous place to be, Cat.]

some of us are slow on the uptake
i'll be sure to get back to the human council about that

[absentconstellation]

As soon as you are returned to your own realm and time, naturally.

[rubikscomplex]

naturally
i mean i'm just the guy who brings the donuts to the meetings
i don't make decisions

[absentconstellation]

That only means that you will not be recognized for your contribution.

[rubikscomplex]

i'm more of a "in the shadows" kinda guy, anyway
you get more done when people aren't fawning over you

[absentconstellation]

You mean when you are despised.

[rubikscomplex]

doesn't matter if they despise you when you're the one bringing the donuts
funny how people forget it for a while
but that's humans for you

[absentconstellation]

Mortals are fickle by the very nature of mortality. It is what makes them so interesting.

[rubikscomplex]

so you're not mortal
god cat?
ghost cat?

[absentconstellation]

[ It's okay, it's practically impossible to guess. ]

I am not nearly so foolish as a god.

[rubikscomplex]

then there are god-like people where you're from?
are we talking zeus rearranging the heavens and titans and all that greek?

[absentconstellation]

I am not familiar with Zeus, Titans, or Greek.

[rubikscomplex]

what are you familiar with?

[absentconstellation]

Father Universe and Mother Flame, and their children, the Great Gods.

[rubikscomplex]

wow, that sounds super cosmic

[And also stupid.]

are you a star cat?

[absentconstellation]

What is a "star cat"?

[ I mean. Yes. But he's not going to give you the win if you don't earn it. ]

[rubikscomplex]

[That catches his attention because it's the first time the 'cat' has asked for clarification on any of his more asinine guesses.]

a cat made of stars
turn your camera on
i wanna see you twinkle

[This is the natural first guess followed by 'a cat forged in the heart of a star' or some other fantasy bullshit.]

[absentconstellation]

[ He turns the video function on with his nose, so that the first thing House gets to see is his bright purple eyes, surrounded by black fur.

Sadly, he does not twinkle. ]

[rubikscomplex]

[That sure is a talking cat with purple eyes. This is fine.

Sure. Fine. Everything is fine. Rat furry fantasy girls, goat monsters, and now this.]

so what do i win, orion?

[He's assuming the video shift means he... wins?]

[absentconstellation]

The enjoyment of a short game.

[ That's it, that's the prize. The journey.

Also his mouth doesn't seem to actually need to move for him to talk, and he purrs for good measure. ]

[rubikscomplex]

[That's almost more unnerving.]

i play games with everyone
and you were easy
give me a better challenge next time, d.c.

[absentconstellation]

Mmmhmmm.

[ He's not very talkative, for a talking cat. ]

[rubikscomplex]

[If he hangs up first, is that the cat winning? Probably. He's not hanging up, asshole.]

why were you even hiding any of this
you're a cat
it's useful to know
what did they even put in your pack for food?
fancy feast?